The Next Phase PART 2
So, this goofy looking skinny guy with a shaved head (Doug) sits next to me in the grass. He just seems to know that I need to be handled with kid gloves. The next memory I have is driving down the road in the backseat of a car with a bunch of new Marines out for a good time. the driver is driving a little crazy but we are having fun. There is a fork in the road, the stop sign is dead center in the windshield, tires are squealing, brakes are screaming, dust is flying as we come to a sudden stop. Silence. Steve's bloodied face flashes in front of me, his dead body is suddenly in the car with me. Screams, wind in my face lights flashing around me. The screams are coming from me as I jump from the car running, running down the road, running to or running away? Terror, pain suddenly someone grabs me and pulls me to the ground. Arms wrap around me warmth, calm silence, sobbing uncontrollable sobbing. Okay, so maybe Marines do cry. Doug, the same quiet, shaved head guy that sat next to me earlier in the heat of the day is sitting on the side of the highway holding me in his arms as I cry for the first time I really cried. I had shed tears before but it was muffled by the shock. Suddenly, the only cushion was that of the arms from the stranger that was comforting me on the side of the road. I don't remember telling him anything, he jsut seemed to know, he just seemed to understand.The drama continues, fast forward, 3 months later. Christmas. I get to go on leave. Driving to Florida to meet mom at grandparents house. I caught a ride with someone that was driving their prized Toyota pick up truck to Miami. He said we could share the ride and he would drop me off in Tampa. 4AM...wake up work, work, work. 4Pm work is done, Road trip! Here we go, 3AM my turn to drive he is exhausted. Bouncing along, dust flying, tires squealing, turning, flipping, glass breaking, branches smacking the windshield, silence... blood, glass and dirt in my mouth. I am still in a seat belt, there is a tree branch in front of me I can touch the leaves, which way is up? I am so calm, I feel nothing. Someone is yelling, yelling at me to get out of the car. I don't want to move. He is still yelling, get out! get out! Now he is pleading not yelling. It's dark I don't see the road. Where are we? Semi truck pulls up, police come, luggage, tools, clothes stuff scattered along the road for what seemed like miles. The next thing I remember was waking up on the floor of my grandparents living room. Oh pain!!! Can't move, can't breathe, the pain!!! Pain pills, a whole box? Dr. can't write a prescription cuz I am military issue now so he generously gives me a whole box of "sample" narcotics!Back on base the barracks are empty. Everyone went home for Christmas. Pain pills are helping, but the pain is still there. Ambulance, emergency room, stomach pump? Oh that was awful! They could hear the screams in the waiting room. I am alone in the hospital room when in walks the Corpsman that is responsible for "watching" me to make sure I didn't try to "off" myself "again". Again? Was that what they thought? We talked, he was nice. They sent me away. Okay, so after 2 days they determined that I was not "crazy" I could go back to my unit.I was walking through the halls after a follow up visit with the "shrink" to make sure that I am not crazy. There he is, that same handsome Corpsman that was so thoughtful that night. How ironic, his name is Steve. We have lunch, he informs me that we will get married someday.Fast forward, to someday (about 6 months later). Wedding day. blah blah blah 5 months later. It's a girl!!!! Little baby Kristen is born. Later that evening, I find myself alone in the hospital, no visitors it's a military hospital only immediate family is allowed. Steve decided he would rather be out in the field with his unit than there with his wife and new baby. I jump through hoops and get permission for our housemate to be allowed in. After 5 days alone in the hospital I get to go home. Shawn is there for me and does his best to give us a smooth ride home. No balloons, no flowers, no pink stork in the yard. Just me, my new bundle of joy and "Uncle Shawn".Arguing, fighting, loneliness.The phone rings... Doug... car accident, heart damage...Oh God, not again!!! I have to go! I have to get to him! Husband, baby, please, I need to be there! ...He's ok!Every night staring at the moon. "Somewhere out there underneath the same bright sky someone's thinking of me and loving me tonight." The song plays over and over in my head.The plane land's in small town Michigan. I walk of the plane holding that tiny hand of my daughter as I see this tall, handsome deeply tanned man coming toward us with the biggest most beautiful smile across his face. Again I feel the comfort of his arms as he wraps them around me and transports me to a safe and loving place.
Posted by Martiw at Saturday, October 25, 2008 0 comments
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